


Calm waters if that serves you best

by princessironspider



Series: When Words Fail, Music Speaks [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, F/M, Hurt Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 10:04:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20062231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessironspider/pseuds/princessironspider
Summary: 5 times Tony Stark showed others he cared and the one time they showed himBased off the song "Two" by Sleeping at Last





	Calm waters if that serves you best

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this one is better than my last! Leave me comments with suggestions or pointers if you feel like it!  
Thanks for reading!
> 
> Also just FYI we are ignoring that Infinity War and Endgame even happened because I am still in denial.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of panic attacks, dissociation, and other mental health issues.  
And I am in no way an expert in any of the mental health topics I mention. I am basing it off of my own experiences and what I've seen in others.

1.

\--

_"Sweetheart, you look a little tired_  
_When did you last eat?_  
_Come in and make yourself right at home_  
_Stay as long as you need"_

_\--_

He's pacing back and front of the elevator in the medbay when she shows up. He turns automatically when he hears the ding of the doors opening. May exits slowly, exhaustion and worry carved into her features. Her eyes wander around in confusion until she sees Tony, rushing up to him. 

"Where's Peter?" she asked quickly.

"May! He's totally fine! I may have slightly exaggerated his condition in my panic. Once I got him to the medbay, Dr. Cho told me I was panicking for nothing. He just got a minor stab wound to his thigh. She already stitched him up and he is just sleeping off the super drugs at the moment. You should have seen him when he came out of it the first time, high as a kite May, your kid would be a terrible druggie." Tony said, using his humor to hopefully difuse her worry. It seemed to work as he watched the worry melt out of her features, leaving her exhaustion on full display. It was Tony's turn to become concerned.

"Good." she said, absently running her hands through her hair. Tony noticed the dark bags under her eyes and that her cheeks even looked hollower than the last time he saw her. She looked like she hadn't slept or ate in days. She looked like he did coming off a three day lab binge. 

"May? Are you okay? You look tired." Tony stated, trying to keep any judgement out of his voice as not to chase her off. 

"I'm fine, I just had to work double shifts the past couple days. I don't think I've slept more than a couple hours this week." she said tiredly, throwing herself into one of the waiting room chairs. 

"Hmm. You hungry? When was the last time you ate?" Tony asked, concern lacing his voice. He hoped she wouldn't take his concern the wrong way. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and sighed. 

"Um...maybe this morning...I am actually not sure..." she said sheepishly. 

"Well come on. Cho said the kid won't be up for a couple hours and I can have FRIDAY keep an eye on him." Tony said holding out his hand to help her up. She stared at him for a long moment, studying his face. She then hesitantly accepted his help. 

"May I ask where we are going?" she asked, following him into the elevator and listening as he requested the penthouse floor.

"Well let's just say that Cafe de la Stark is now open." Tony said with a cocky smirk. May rolled her eyes at his antics. 

"I didn't know you could cook. Wait...you can cook right?" 

Tony snorted, "Pot, kettle. Yes my dearest May, I can cook. My mom taught me. Now take a seat and I will get started." He said with a wink. May sat herself at the island and watched as Tony started busying himself in the kitchen. He looked like he was in his element, knowing exactly where everything was and how much of what to add and when. May was very impressed with how comfortable he looked in the kitchen. Soon after he was finished and set a plate of delicious looking stir fry in front of her. 

"I figured you'd need something more nutritious, having not eaten in a while. But remind me to make you my famous chicken parmigiana one day. It's Pep's favorite." Tony said handing May a fork and motioning for her to dig in. She took a bite, and her face lit up. 

"Wow Stark, this is really good. I'm impressed." May said nodding her approval. Tony's face stretched into a huge smile. 

"Alright May, you finish that, I will be back in just a sec." He said mysteriously, disappearing down the hallway that seemed to lead to the living quarters. 

May savored her food, or tried to, but she couldn't remember the last time she had such a good home cooked meal. When she was finished she realized that Tony had yet to return. As if her thoughts had summoned him, he came sauntering back into the room. 

"Okay, so I hope you enjoyed your meal?" She nodded, "Good. So now since the kid is still way off in his drug induced coma, I want you to get some rest. You look like you could really use the sleep." May tried to protest but he just kept rambling on. "I promise I will sit with the spider-child the entire time you are asleep and will wake you up immediately if Peter needs you. Scout's honor." He finished with his hand in the air like he was actually a scout. 

"I'm having trouble believing you were a boy scout Tony." May said, amused by his antics. 

"Rude. I resent that. But you are completely right. Now follow me." Tony started walking down the hallway that he disappeared down earlier. May decided to cut her loses and follow him, curious as to where he was leading her. 

Tony led her to a bedroom door right next to one she knew had to be Peter's, if the Star Wars posters and giant Spider-Man insignia on the wall were any indication.

"Okay now please enjoy your say at Casa del a Stark...sounds like I'm running a bed or breakfast or something. Anyway, there are some of Pepper's pajamas on the bed, a fresh toothbrush and towels in the bathroom and the fuzziest blanket I could find." He said showing off the room like a model on a game show. She looked around slowly and nodded her approval at the large comfortable looking bed. "Now. Please get some sleep, I promise Pete will be fine...okay?" Tony asked quietly turning to head back out the door. 

"Thank you, Tony." May said with a soft smile, watching as he winked and closed the door softly behind him. After changing into the pajamas and freshening up, she laid down, noting the softest sheets and blankets she had ever felt. She fell asleep quickly. 

Around 10 hours later, May woke up from the best sleep she has had in a while. She looked around as she sat up, remembering where she was. As she was looking around she noticed the tray full of coffee and breakfast pastries sitting on the nightstand. She laughed softly picking up the bright orange sticky note next to the tray. 

_May,_

_I hope you slept well. You definitely needed it. Spider-baby was cleared a couple of hours ago and I have convinced him to leave you alone. But I had to sign away my freedom and watch Star Wars with him, so you are welcome. Take your time and enjoy your breakfast. Join us in the living room when your ready. And the kid says hi. _

_-T.S. _

She smiled, slightly amazed at the care Tony provided for her and Peter. She enjoyed her breakfast slowly, thinking of a way to pay back the billionaire. 

2.

\--

_"Tell me, is something wrong?_  
_If something's wrong you can count on me_  
_You know I'll take my heart clean apart_  
_If it helps yours beat"_

_\--_

"Boss, it seems that Miss Potts is in distress." FRIDAY's voice rang through the speakers, interrupting the rock music that was blasting moments ago. 

Tony's head snapped up from the suit he was working on. "What time is it FRI?"

"It is currently 2:20 A.M. Boss" Tony swore under his breath. He lost track of time. He promised Pepper he would try to fix his sleeping schedule just yesterday and here he is already ruining it. He rushes out of the lab and takes the stairs two at a time until he reaches the penthouse floor. He hurries to his bedroom and opens the door quickly when he hears soft crying behind the door. 

His heart clenches at what he sees next. Pepper is clutching his pillow to her chest as she cries into it, seemingly unaware of his presence. 

"Pep? Honey are you okay?" Tony says, approaching her slowly as not to scare her. Her head snaps up and his heart clenches again at the sight of her red, swollen, tear-filled eyes. She looks at him as though she can't believe he's actually there. 

"Tony? But you were...and he was...and I didn't..." she stuttered shaking her head frantically as if trying to shake away the image in front of her. Tony stops her hand as she goes to run them through her hair and squeezes them softly trying to ground her. 

"I'm right here baby. Tell me what's wrong." He said softly, rubbing his fingers across her knuckles. She watched him carefully before taking a shaky breath as if steeling herself for what she was about to say.

"It was during the Extremis fight. And I didn't make it to you in time and I had to watch him kill you. I thought...I woke up and you weren't here...I thou-" her voice cut off as a sob wracked her body. At her words Tony's breath caught in his throat and he quickly gathered her in his arms and rocked her back and forth. 

"I'm real. You saved me, I'm okay baby I promise okay? This is real, I'm alive, I was just caught up in the workshop." the words worked to calm her down slightly but she still trembled in his arms. "Tell me what to do. What do you need? Huh anything at all." Tony said, knowing that letting her choose what his next actions were would give her a sense of control. 

She sniffed a couple times, and looked up to met his eyes. "Will you stay...please? I don't want to be alone. I need to make sure you're okay." she whispered after a while, her gaze falling to her lap. Tony smiled softly and started to lay them back down in the bed, keeping her close.

"Of course. I'll be here from now on I promise." He whispered as he held the love of his life in his arms as she slowly fell back to sleep. That night he vowed that he would always go to bed with Pepper in case she needed her, even if he didn't want to sleep himself. He would never let her wake up needing him and not being there again. 

He kept his promise, and when Pepper wasn't in town he stayed on the phone with her until she fell asleep. 

3.

\--

_"It's okay if you can't find the words_  
_Let me take your coat and this weight off of your shoulders"_

\--

Tony's face lit up as his eyes landed on a certain curly haired teen that was currently working on his homework on the couch in the living room. He was about to greet the boy and ask him about his day when he noticed Peter wasn't actually doing his homework. His eyes were fixed on something only he could see on the carpet in front of him, they were unfocused and glassy. The only sign that he was alive was the slight tapping of his fingers on his thigh. Tony recognized what was going on immediately and let his concern lead him to kneel in front of the boy. This had happened a couple of times before so he kind of knew what to do to help. He placed himself in front of Peter and grasped his hand tightly, not enough to hurt but enough so that Peter could feel it wherever he was. 

"Hey Petey-Pie. You wanna come back? Come on show me those big brown eyes." Tony said softly, squeezing Peter's hand with one hand while his other started brushing the hair off the teen's forehead. After a couple minutes of doing that and whispering soft encouraging words, he watched as Peter's eyes slowly refocused and met his own. 

"Hey Pete, there you are. You with me?" he asked softly, cupping Peter's cheek with his hand. Peter looked up and met his mentors eyes and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm with you Mr. Stark," he said quietly, watching as relief flooded the older man's features. Tony stood up, bones cracking, and sat down slinging his arm around the kid's shoulder. 

"Wanna tell me what happened bud?" Tony asked continuing his motions through Peter's curls, knowing it helped the kid calm down. Peter was silent for a moment, playing with his hands in his lap. 

"I was just thinking...On patrol the other day, I helped save some little kids from a burning building, right? And I helped, right? I did something good, everyone was raving about how Spider-Man saved the day...but then I got thinking what if the next time I don't. What if the next time I'm too late, what if someone dies because of me? What am I supposed to do then?" Peter rambled as his breathing picked up again. Tony, who had stilled the moment the boy started rambling, quickly drew the kid tighter into his arms. He rocked them slightly and waited for Peter to calm back down before he started talking. 

"That kind of thinking bud, is gonna get you in trouble. Okay? Listen I wish I could say it is never gonna happen. I wish I could tell you that the good guy always wins. But I know, probably better than most, that sometimes you lose. Sometimes you lose people, and you can't save them all. And the guilt that comes with that...is something I would never wish upon anyone kid. But, worrying about it before it happens is just gonna mess you up, if what happened earlier is anything to go by, and I don't want you worrying about that anymore, kid, okay? If and when that day ever comes, you come straight to me okay? I will be there to help you through it. You will never have to go through that alone. Ever. Please just come to me and I'll help you deal with it when it comes, that's a promise Pete." Tony said, hoping he was saying the right thing to this fragile kid curled in his arms. 

Peter eventually pulled away and looked to his mentor gratefully. "Thanks Mr. Stark. I appreciate you not sugarcoating it, I needed to hear that." He said with a small smile. 

Tony winked at the kid and settled back in the couch, "Alright, that's enough emotions, it's aggravating my heart condition. Let's watch a movie? Star Wars?" Tony said turning his attention to the TV in front of them, when no answer came he turned to look at the kid. Peter was staring at him with a cheesy smile and a glint in his eyes.

"I love you Mr. Stark" he replied with a small smirk.

"Pete, my heart condition." Tony wheezed, splaying a hand over his chest. The kid laughed and tucked himself snugly into Tony's side, waving for him to play the movie. Tony rolled his eyes fondly and ruffled his hair as the movie started playing.

4.

\--

_"It's okay if you can't catch your breath_  
_You can take the oxygen straight out of my own chest"_

_\--_

They were in the middle of a battle when he sees her go down. The Rouge Avengers had been back for a couple weeks now, save for Bucky, and this was their first mission with their newly reunited team. They were fighting some crazed lunatic who set off some killer robots in the middle of Times Square. They had been able to lead them to the river and were using the water to their advantage to short circuit the robots so they couldn't recharge. Tony felt confident that they were going to wrap this up fairly quickly and was thinking that he might not even have to go near the water, when he saw Natasha go down into said water tangled with a robot. He held his breath waiting to see her head bob back up and request back up. His heart seized in his chest when she didn't return to the surface. 

"Wilson, you have eyes on Nat?" Tony asked hoping the only other aerial support could be the one to go into the water, but flying over there quickly just in case. 

"Negative, but she was over by the water and the wings aren't super waterproof." Sam replied. 

Tony's breath stuttered in his chest, but he knew he had no time for his stupid PTSD episode and dove into the water to find Natasha. 

"FRI give me eyes on Nat NOW!" Tony demanded, his voice coming out more strained than he cared to admit. 

"Five feet below you boss, she seems to be caught on something, and is about to lose consciousness." FRIDAY replied and Tony swore under his breath. He hurried and freed her from the hands of the robot she had been fighting and flew to the surface and set her down on a nearby dock. It was then that FRIDAY reported that she wasn't breathing and suggested he start CPR immediately. 

"Shit, okay okay, come on Tasha, come on." He started the compressions, and when there was no response, he tilted her head back and blew air into her lungs. "Come on Tasha breathe!" It took a couple more breaths for her to breathe on her own start choking up the water from her lungs. He hurried and laid her on her side and rubbed her back. Once she had finished coughing and her breathing returned to normal, he helped her sit up gently. 

"Thanks shell-head," She said, her voice raw and quiet. Tony fell back onto his knees in relief and huffed out a laugh.

"Hey, can't let you stop breathing when I have some perfectly good air to share." he joked, watching her face crack into a small smile as she rolled her eyes, but he could see the silent question in her eyes as she reached out and squeezed his hand. 

"I'm okay." he whispered. She nodded and didn't say anything else. She knew it was a big deal for him to go near bodies of water after Afghanistan, and she was shocked he was willing to put himself through that to save her. Maybe she was wrong all those years ago. 

5.

\--

_"I know exactly how your rule goes_  
_Put my mask on first_  
_No, I don't want to talk about myself_  
_Tell me where it hurts_  
_I just want to build you up, build you up_  
_'Til you're good as new_  
_And maybe one day, I'll get around_  
_To fixing myself, too"_

_\--_

Tony worked on steadying his breathing as he plastered on his press smile. He was listening to Steve, as he tried to be polite in his demands that Tony take a look at Bucky's metal arm. Apparently, it has been causing him some pain and Tony was the only one who could help him. And apparently, there was no concern for Tony's mental health in this scenario. He had long forgiven Bucky for what happened with his parents, knowing it wasn't him and Bucky's sincere apology when he came to live at the tower definitely helped. But Steve, clearly, had not given any thought to how traumatizing it could be to help work on the very thing that killed his mom. But he was used to people forgetting that he was actually a human with feelings and fears. So he plastered on a smile and nodded along to what Steve was saying.

"Of course Capsicle. Can't have our resident snowman in pain. Send him down to my lab tomorrow. Gives me time to go through the specs beforehand." Tony said, knowing he didn't need to look at the specs ahead of time. He was trying to give himself time to prepare for the trying experience this was bound to be. He watched as Steve's shoulders lost some of their tension and a smile spread across his face. 

"Thank you Tony, Bucky will be so relieved to not be in pain." He said, clapping Tony on the shoulder and then leaving the engineer alone. Tony kept his smile plastered on his face until he was sure that Steve was gone, and he finally let it drop with a shaky breath and buried his face in his hands. 

Later that day he was in the middle of distracting his brain with some of Karen's code for the kid when he heard the workshop doors open. 

"Honeybear!" He exclaimed turning around in his rolling chair to greet his best friend. Rhodey did not look happy though, so he let his smile fall. Rhodey stopped in front of him with a steely expression on his face. 

"Tones...please tell me you didn't agree to fix Barnes' arm." He got straight to the point, and made sure Tony could hear the disappointment in his voice. 

Letting out a deep breath, the engineer turned back to Karen's code, "It's fine Rhodey. Can't let Bucky be in pain because I can't get over a small case of PTSD or some shit." Tony said dismissively, hoping his friend would let it go. 

"PTSD is not some shit, Tony. I know how you feel about that arm. You don't need to take care of everyone Tony, it's okay to take care of yourself first." Rhodey said turning his chair back to face him. His eyes were pleading for his friend to listen to him. Tony averted his eyes and let out a long breath. 

"I'm not going to take care of myself if it means ignoring someone else's pain. I'm not worth that. Now, I got to finish this code before the kid goes on patrol, so can we be done talking about this now?" Tony said, his tone making it clear that the conversation was definitely over. He heard Rhodey sigh sadly and felt him squeeze his shoulder before he left the room. 

And even though he disagreed with his friend, Rhodey was still there when working on Barnes' arm sent his friend into a severe panic attack the second Bucky left the lab. He just wished his friend believed people cared about him too. 

+1

\--

_"I don't even know where to start_   
_Already tired of trying to recall when it all fell apart_   
_I just want to love you, to love you, to love you, and_   
_I just want to learn how to somehow be loved myself."_

_\--_

_"The doctor said you're in a coma. She also said you may be able to hear us? Sounds like some bullshit to me but...here goes. You know, you're an absolute idiot. Jumping onto a grenade? Really Tony? Just because you are in a suit of armor doesn't mean you are invincible. You saved a bunch of lives, though, including mine. And I know that's the only thing you will take from this, and you'll think everything went perfectly. Because that's how you think isn't it? That your life isn't worth anyone else's? Well, let me tell you I don't agree with that okay? You can't just die. I need you, Peter needs you, Pepper, Happy, hell even the team, they all care about you. You gotta stop thinking you don't matter to other people. You...your my best friend man, my brother. You matter to me, and you need to wake up. I'm not done yelling at you and I want you to be fully conscious for my next lecture. Please."_

_*_

_"The second you wake up Tony Stark I am going to kill you. You keep doing this, and it kills me every single time. Because one day you are going to do this again but the difference will be that you won't come home. I need you to come home...you promised me you would always come home. That you'd always be there when I go to sleep so I know you're there. You can't be there if you're dead Tony. So you wake up, you wake up as soon as you can so I can have my teddy bear back. Gosh, Tony. I love you, but I can't keep doing this...just wake up okay? _

_*_

_"Hey Mr. Stark. Um, May told me to talk to you? She joked that maybe my endless rambling would cause you to wake up just to tell me to shut up. And if I knew that would work...I would never stop talking. You really scared me, you know? I had to watch as you threw yourself on that bomb. I was the first one who got to you...you didn't look good Mr. Stark. You remember when you said you would be there whenever I couldn't save someone...well what do I do i-if the person I-I can't save is yo-you? I don't think I could handle it if you didn't wake up. You're like a dad to me, so I really need you to wake up. Please wake up Dad...p-please. _

_*_

_"Stark you are really messing with my nephew you know? Deciding to blow up and sleep for a week? You really don't half-ass anything do you? Well I wanted to thank you for all you have done for Peter...and for me. Our lives are definitely better with you in it. You brought my Peter back. He was so shut off and broken when Ben died...but then you showed up and he slowly turned back into the happy Peter he was before...you brought back that sparkle in his eyes. I could never thank you enough for that. So you gotta wake up and keep him happy Stark...that and I miss our gossip sessions over coffee, Happy just isn't as into my work drama as you are. I have to keep reexplaining who everyone is, the nerve of that man. I got a lot to catch you up on, so whenever you are ready, join us back in the world of the living would you? _

_*_

_"I was wrong. I hope you can't hear this because you would never let me hear the end of it if you did. I wrote that stupid report on you, saying that you weren't recommended. And I was so wrong. You proved me wrong. Ironman isn't the hero, Tony Stark is. You saved my life so many times...you breathed for me when I couldn't...you went near water of all things to save me. Tony Stark is definitely recommended. Without him, I wouldn't be alive. Now, gross emotions aside. Do remember that there is a difference between being fashionably late and being rude. _

_* _

Tony had heard every word. He had never tried harder at anything than he did to wake up when he first started hearing their voices. He never knew they felt like that. He had spent his entire life feeling unworthy of love, thinking he didn't deserve it. But he woke up from his coma feeling more loved and wanted than he had ever felt in his life. And he was going to fight to keep that feeling. 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment and tell me how I can improve!


End file.
